The Pee Cup in Italy

24 Oct

2011-10-24 18.14.08

Just something I find highly undignified. You know when you have to go to the doctor and pee in a cup?

Well, I have these routine blood tests I have to do and I’ve had them for months to get done. But I keep forgetting THE HOLY PEE CUP.

Shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

Except here in Italy, it’s all about BYOC: Bring Your Own Cup.

Meaning, you have to go to the pharmacy and buy the damn pee cup so that you can pee in it at home before you go to the lab.

Meaning, you then have to carry your damn pee cup to the lab with you, and hold it while you’re waiting.

Yes, hold it. Because YOU KNOW mamma’s not putting that in her purse. Oh HELLLL no.

So there you have it. Just a mini-rant.

When I was preggers with Vincenzo about four years ago (!), I had to do the pee cup routine once a month. And it was so super convenient, because, get this: my hospital where I did my tests, had a vending machine. Yes, folks. A pee cup vending machine. That sold the cups for 1 euro a piece.

M&Ms? Twix? Snickers? Forget about it. I’m talking CONTENITORE PER LE URINE. Woo baby.

Oh man. At the pharmacy today I paid a whopping 91 cents. Discount!

Sigh. Life in Italy. Always a little extra fun.

BTW you can spot the pee cup people. We’re all in the waiting room holding the box. Because, luckily, they sell it to you in a box. So you can be *sort of* discreet when you take it in.

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12 Responses to “The Pee Cup in Italy”

  1. B. Connor October 24, 2011 at 7:00 pm #

    Gawd. Subverting drug tests in Italy must be the easiest thing ever.

  2. Un'americana a Roma October 24, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    That’s a very good point. I mean, how do they do that? When I worked at juvie in the States, we (probation) had to monitor the drug tests. So I’m thinking they must have some way to do that. My life in social services in Italy is far down the road, if it even exists, so … the question will remain unanswered for the moment… and I will continue to humbly carry my pee box to the lab.

  3. EleonoraE October 24, 2011 at 7:17 pm #

    I guess you bring your own pee (and container of course) only for lab tests. You have no interest in subverting those, are you?

    Other tests – drugs, whatever – are probably done on the spot, to monitor them.

  4. Eleonora October 24, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

    And you didn’t even mentioned the poo-cup. Even funnier!
    Only in Italy. Luckily!

  5. barbara giacometti October 24, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

    U really made me smile today. A reminder why never to go to a hospital for a test in Italy. Went to a private clinic once, for an OBGYN issue.. lol He said I “ate to many peaches.” lol.. The Irony is I felt better after that.. wonder if it was because he was so great looking? lol

  6. Un'americana a Roma October 26, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    Oh God no… luckily (making horn shape with hands as per Italian ‘warding off bad luck’ tradition) I’ve never had to do that one. Icky.

  7. Un'americana a Roma October 26, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    Oh man, don’t even make me tell you about my mortifying experience at the first ob/gyn appt. here. My ex-husband, (new boyfriend at the time) directed me to his aunt’s ambulatorio which was a “consultorio familiare” which basically is the public health clinic. Scaryness!!!! I always went to a private international doc after that. But now that I’ve been here 8 years and even given birth (a total master’s class in public health/gyno… you will graduate with no shame), I feel I could tackle anything.
    Once my French woman ob/gyn said I had a great cervix and my uterus would be a “good home” for my future babies. Only an ob/gyn could give a weird compliment like that. I’m like, um, thanks, I think?

  8. moscerina October 26, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    Ah, the pee cup was an old friend of mine. Likewise the stool sample. I cannot believe I had to BYOS to the lab when I was 38 weeks pregnant. Hot mom? No.

  9. Un'americana a Roma October 26, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    BBBAAAHAHAHAHA I never had to do the BYOS but one time my ex-husband did, and, I kid you not, this is so nast, they told him he “brought too much” AAAAAAAAA EEEEWWWWW

  10. Oh, the above was to funny~thanks for the laugh. On the up side, I must say, that when my child took extremely ill with the stomach flu, The hospital in Rome was more than generous with helping us Cut the line to see the Doctor. A screaming baby helps a lot. Not to mention one who is projectile vomiting in the nurses face. Or a husband who is cursing in Italian. The test of my nerves came from the Fed ex people at the Rome Airport, who stopped some jello pudding from arriving (vanilla), from my mom (in New York), at the airport because Cacao is considered a drug in Italy. Go figure. And they say the american’s are crazy! The Panarama (supermarket, equilvelent to Walmart with better fish seleciton and cheese), has every flavor but Vanilla. Have you noticed that? The onlyone my son would eat. Oh dont’ get me started. The Vanila puddings costs me $123.00. lol

  11. Audra October 29, 2011 at 11:27 am #

    OMG, this post is hilarious!!! I love it. I’ve never in my life had to Bring My Own Stool™ or Bring My Own Urine™ (haha) but I have had to pee in a cup at a doctor’s office in the U.S.

    Your posts are funny! I like you… 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pizzeria Florida « - March 30, 2012

    […] the servers starting shouting out numbers like they do at the hospital when you’re waiting to deliver your pee cup (sorry for the yucky association when discussing food, but it is so), I knew I had found a true […]

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