I’ve always thought these machines were cool. The whole Do-It-Yourself business card thing. Not the best quality, but still, the idea is great, for people who maybe don’t have the money to pay a designer to get professional cards made.
So. Oftentimes, you see these in the Metro stations, next to the photo booths for the ubiquitous passport photos that the Italian bureaucracy requires in quadruplicate for basically everything around here, and on the other side of the Illy coffee machines.
Ok, I’ll admit it: sometimes I get coffee from the vending machine. It’s really not that bad. I know I have virtually no excuse for doing so, because excellent, non-vending-machine-made espresso can be had on pretty much every corner, but… who knows. Sometimes I just get a craving for a little quick espresso in the subway. Call me crazy. (You wouldn’t be the first!)
So as I was waiting for my little “caffè macchiato dolce” (third button down), I started looking at the business card machine. Once again appreciating the utilitarian nature of such a thing, I started browsing the sample cards that were on display under a brightly lit plexiglass box on top of the machine. A sort of patchwork quilt of possible machine users, from house painter to language teacher to … WHAAA? BAAAAA HAHAHAHAH! NOOOOOO!
Oh, God bless Rosa Benedetti and her super cute, red rose, play-on-words-of-her-first-name piece of clip art.
Oh, Rosa. Truly.
You see, Rosa lists her profession on her business card as “Casalinga,” otherwise known to you and me as “Housewife.”
Can you totally see Rosa, broom in hand, broth bubbling on the stove, big rug-beating baton on the ready, with her sleek machine-printed business cards?
Where might Rosa distribute said cards?
“Hi, I’m Giovanni, I work in sales.”
“My pleasure. Rosa, I work in households. Well, household, that is.”
I don’t know. This is what my mind does when I’m waiting for my Illy vending machine coffee.
And you bet your bottom dollar that not only will the sun come out tomorrow, but hot diggedy if I’m not tempted now to make my own card, having been thus validated by the Rosa Benedettis of the world and their housekeeping pride. I already have business cards for my real day job. But still, that’s no excuse.
I think it would go a little something like this:
Shelley Ruelle (It goes without saying that I would use a conch shell as my clip art. Because I’m witty and clever like Rosa.)
Single Divorced Mom of 3 Preschool Age Children, Looking for a Date Once in a While (the mom, not the kids), C.R. (cazzaro resistent)