Uncensored Grocery Shopping

27 Mar

Humor me here for a moment, will you?

I know you will.

That’s why I love you so.

How American am I? Today I stop off at the grocery store after work to buy sliced turkey breast to make sandwiches to take to work for lunch, and I happily realize that this particular grocery store has SKIPPY peanut butter for the totally not low, low price of $5 US in a teensy-weensy 320 gram (i.e. 11 oz.) jar.

Oh, how I miss my Costco sizes: 64 ounces of peanuty goodness–that’s nearly TWO KILOS for you Euro folks of SUPER CHUNK fun!

But…as usual I digress.

Thank you Conad (which really is quite an unfortunate name, IMHO, if you think about how much it sounds like gonad, right?) for putting the radio station on your store speakers, because, guess what, folks? By some freak of nature, Mickelmack Macklemore has made it big over here in Italy with his FABULOUS HIT SINGLE “Thrift Shop.” No, seriously people, this nonsense is sheer genius. Watch the video and I dare you to disagree with me.

And why yes, yes I am from Seattle, thank you VERY much for asking! We are a rare breed, are we not?

ONE HUNDRED NINETY FOUR AND A HALF MILLION VIEWS CAN’T BE WRONG – P.S. “NSFW”

But, honest to God, 1:26 and the deer sweater? Yes, friends, this is the Goodwill I know and love, and faithfully patronized for the times when I only had twenty dollas in my pockeeeeht.

And the bestest, I mean super bestest ever part of this, is that while the sweet guy slicing my turkey breast is asking me “Qualcos’altro, cara?” I’m rocking out to the lyrics “THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME” without any weird blips or silences to block out the F bomb.

So, grocery shopping to the funky tune of uncensored Macklemore in Rome because their four letter words are actually five letter words (cazzo for one, since you asked), so they don’t censor our four letter words?

Good times, my friends…good times indeed.

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12 Responses to “Uncensored Grocery Shopping”

  1. rachel March 27, 2013 at 4:17 pm #

    love

  2. Dani March 27, 2013 at 6:18 pm #

    Hysterical!

  3. gillaf1@yahoo.com March 27, 2013 at 6:41 pm #

    Only got 20 bucks in his pocket, but has a DeLorean! Go figure….

  4. simcek March 28, 2013 at 12:00 am #

    Just think you could have been listening to Jovanotti, instead.

  5. Brittany March 28, 2013 at 2:21 am #

    Such a stinkin’ awesome song. Love it.

  6. Un'americana a Roma March 28, 2013 at 10:26 am #

    Aw Simcek, you know me so well!!! MWAH! xoxo

  7. Un'americana a Roma March 28, 2013 at 10:27 am #

    Seriously it is totally catchier than Gangnam Style, take that PSY!

  8. Un'americana a Roma March 28, 2013 at 10:27 am #

    :-*

  9. Un'americana a Roma March 28, 2013 at 10:28 am #

    I honestly laughed out loud more than once. The lyrics are genius. “I’ma take your grandpa’s style, I’ma take your grandpa’s style,
    No for real – ask your grandpa – can I have his hand-me-downs? (Thank you)”

  10. Un'americana a Roma March 28, 2013 at 10:29 am #

    It’s a thrift car nowadays, had it’s hey day in Back to the Future…

  11. Jano Janotech March 28, 2013 at 10:55 am #

    Well, Italians don’t know english so good, so we have difficult to understand someone speaking, imagine if we understand someone singing or making rap/hiphop/r’n’b ecc…
    We simply listen to the music, the rhythm 🙂

    Anyway if u think the price of peanut butter is high, u have to check the maple syrup price! Awesome!

    There’s a secret rule that makes every single thing coming from USA, so desired and so expensive.
    An example?
    Kitchen Aid imperial red
    340$ amazon us = 266€
    499€ amazon it = 637$

    More than double 🙂

    …..you are in the land of thieves and the home of mafia! 😉

  12. Arlene Gibbs Décor March 28, 2013 at 2:42 pm #

    This song is EVERYWHERE here. It’s hilarious.

    When I first moved to Italy I was shocked to see that SATC aired on Comedy Central in the middle of day uncensored.

    There was a little advisory before saying the show may not be appropriate for young views but NOTHING was cut from the show, unlike the non-HBO versions in the States.

    Jano things from Italy and France are MUCH more expensive in the USA. Like wine. Or SMEG refrigerators. I try to order nothing from outside the EU, too expensive. This is why I’m happy J. Crew is going to London.

    That said, I am going to buy a Kitchen Aid mixer one day.

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