That’s Happy Easter to you!
Are you up on all of your Italian Easter traditions?
Well then, come up close because I’ve got some stuff to tell you about.
First, can we talk about this cheesy bread that comes out at Easter time? Because, seriously, I am loving it. And not in the “I’m lovin’ it” McDonald’s kind of way. In the OHMYGODWHOSTHEGENIUSTHATINVENTEDCHEESYBREADFOREASTER kind of way.
And if you managed to insert all the spaces appropriately in that big ol’ megaword up there, then I think you need to spend a lil’ less time on Twitter. (note to self)
Or what about what I OH’d in the five & dime the other day? Old lady comes in and says “Avete un tegame per la pastiera?” LA PASTIERA?
Don’t mind if I do! This here video is fun mainly because of the elevator music the genius managing the audio on this production decided to go with. But my LAUGH OUT LOUD moment came at :49 when the subtitle says “aggiungere il burro” — add the butter. And it goes on. And on. And on. FOR SIX ENTIRE SECONDS. Holy shit people, that thar’s a whole fuck load of butter, if you’ll pardon my French.
Anyhoo, yepper dee doo, the pastiera is another Easter tradition round these parts.
And what of the colomba? The “dove” cake? The colomba is basically your Christmas panettone disguised and cleverly repackaged as a peaceful symbol of Christ’s resurrection. This ensures that the panettone factories can make their money year-round based on the eternal cake cycle of Christ dying, rising, and, since he hasn’t yet “come again” as prophesied, they’re left to churn out yet more panettone the year after for his death and rising once again. Or something.
EGGS, though. Holy shmoley if the chocolate eggs around here aren’t something to write home about. Check out this MONSTER EGG in the pastry shop in front of my bus stop. It has a huge-ass Christopher Columbus-like ship on it. I have no idea why, or what, the ship is supposed to represent in terms of Easter joy and peace, but, there you go.
I also have no idea why I find it amusing that it’s positioned in front of the emergency exit. But I do. And, can I tell you how excited I am that I learned a new word here? “Riffa” — that means raffle, people. Cool, right? Not to be confused with the ever-popular Urban Dictionary definition:
The hood on which tons of gangstas get their grind on
Yeah—no. That’s not what we’re talking about in this case, just so that we’re clear.
Eggs, eggs, eggs everywhere. Eggs on the TV commercials between cartoons. Hello Kitty eggs. Ben 10 eggs. (hold on, I feel a Forrest Gump moment coming on here, that whole lemon shramp, pepper shramp thing) Lazio eggs, Roma eggs, Cars eggs, big sparkly paper eggs, little dark chocolate eggs, eggs with surprises… you get the idea.
Did you know that you can even do cool things like order custom eggs from the pastry shop and put your own surprises in them? Like an engagement ring? (or maybe serving divorce papers, now that would be a cool twist, would it not?? I’m only cynical because a single girlfriend of mine just sent me THIS friggin’ link so I’m kind of choking on my sense of self-pity right now while drowning in a sea of envy, sorry about that!)
[Note to reader: Shelley is an almost-36 year old divorcee raising three preschool-aged children, two of whom are twins just for the fun of it all, in a city positively filled with hot men in uniforms. Just so you know where the whole angst things arises from.]
Holy crap that was a digression. Anyhoo, Happy Easter to all! And don’t forget “Little Easter” Monday a.k.a. “Pasquetta.” You know what they say: “Natale con i tuoi, Pasqua con chi vuoi!” That basically translates to “On Christmas you’re forced to be with your family so thank God on Easter you get to celebrate with whoever you want.” Which means that you go into the country and have a dandy ol’ picnic lunch with all your friends.
On Monday I’ll be spending quality time with my kiddos who will be hyped up on a chocolate-egg-fueled sugar high, along with our two cats, two sea turtles, a partridge, a pear tree, and my laundry, just in case you were wondering!
Love and kisses from Rome!