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Pre-Cooked Mediterranean Diet

22 Apr

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This billboard asks “Have you got 2 minutes?”

Why, yes–yes, I do. Why do you ask?

Because “try the new AIA sausages. Pre-cooked and ready in two minutes.”

Tagline “Dakota. And eaten.”

Folks, can I ask you something?

Do we really need pre-cooked sausages? Do we not have the requisite time anymore to actually cook our food?

I dunno. This isn’t your nonna’s Mediterranean diet.

Oh and BTW? Took this one a while back in the supermarket for my pal Katie, who is very fond of offal.

trippa

Now you can have your offal in a can. Doesn’t that just make it so conveniently portable for those times when you need your tripe on the go?

Simmenthal being the quintessential “meat in a can” company. The Italian equivalent of Spam, if you will.

And can I tell you how much I love that Wiki defines tripe as “a type of edible offal from the stomachs of various farm animals.”

It kind of gives new meaning to the phrase mystery meat, does it not?

Although, technically speaking, are the stomachs of various farm animals considered meat? Perhaps not.

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10 Responses to “Pre-Cooked Mediterranean Diet”

  1. Catherine April 23, 2013 at 7:36 am #

    This is really creepy. I think we are killing ourselves with all this processed food. And even fresh stuff is steeped in pesticide. All rather depressing! (Funny & unrelated note: I once bought dog food in a can with ‘chunks of wild games’)

  2. simcek April 23, 2013 at 10:53 pm #

    The funny thing is, it says “ready in 2 minutes”. Which is more or less the time that it takes you to cook a raw sausage.
    Plus, “Dakota. E mangiata” is a tagline whose author deserves a 5 year sentence. At least.

  3. Jano Janotech April 24, 2013 at 10:09 am #

    Mmmh, I’m against chicken sausage and wurstel too… sausage is PORK! yeah! The magic animal as Homer said πŸ™‚
    Anyway trippa is a common food not only in Italy but all over the world.
    In USA too….
    Have u ever watched “Bizzare food” with Andrew Zimmern?
    He ate trippa everywhere.
    I used to eat it when I was a child, now more less πŸ˜› never tried simmenthal’s I don’t “trust” it πŸ™‚
    And for a good trippa, you have to wash it really good or it will smell like, well, shit…

    Anyway, the “skin” of sausages are made with the intestine of the animal…..
    same for Salame… nothing strange.

    Ever tried, coppa di testa? it’s made with the whole head of the animal, boiled and boiled πŸ™‚

  4. Un'americana a Roma April 24, 2013 at 3:01 pm #

    Ha ha! Chunks of wild games, that’s comic gold.
    As if the idea of canned meat weren’t bad enough, right? We can now have canned stomachs of various animals. No words.

  5. Un'americana a Roma April 24, 2013 at 3:02 pm #

    God bless you Simcek. Seriously. What would I do without you? Don’t answer that. Agree, agree, and agree.

  6. Un'americana a Roma April 24, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

    Nope, you are a braver soul than I am. Don’t like my food to look at me, or have malodorous complications.

  7. Andrea Troiani April 26, 2013 at 3:51 pm #

    Well… this is NOT a mediterranean diet at all!
    The real one is NOT in a can, is NOT pre-cooked and made on cooker for a lot of minutes…
    one more thing, about tagline: it’s a terrible pun! dakota > da-kota > da-cotta > cotta.
    “cotta e mangiata”. (cooked and eaten). I agree: 5 year sentence.

  8. Un'americana a Roma April 26, 2013 at 8:59 pm #

    Yes my dear, I know that’s not the real Mediterranean diet. Thank goodness. Twelve years of being in Rome and eating amazing things makes this post all the more tongue-in-cheek.
    I didn’t get the “da cotta” play on words. That’s really ridic. In fact I couldn’t seem to figure out why they’d call it Dakota. I thought it was some kind of reference to one of the North or South United States… πŸ˜‰

  9. Marc May 6, 2013 at 2:11 pm #

    Please,
    I am Un’Americano a Mantova, may i have your email addy?
    Don’t wanna bore here with our news already sent.

    Thanks

  10. Un'americana a Roma May 9, 2013 at 12:55 pm #

    unamericanaaroma@gmail.com Natch

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