Oh, people. Here we are again, already a year gone by and back to vacation season here in Rome. Let me tell you, the joint is already starting to clear out. Everybody seems to be either at the beach, packing for the beach, on their way to the beach, going to the beach in the next couple of days—you get the idea. I write a post like this at least once every July, I think.
Carlo, why didn’t you come up with a sequel to last year’s summer smash hit that I loved so? GodIloveCarloVerdonesosupermuch. Have you seen La Grande Bellezza? Holy crap, he’s so believable and vulnerable and just plain lovable in his first true non-comic role. Y’all know I love the man. Let’s just put it out there: I want a Carlo Verdone clone who’s closer to my age, just to hang out with, because now there’s a man I could shoot the shit with and never run out of good stuff to talk about. One time, I had this dream, and I met him at this party or art gallery or something, and he liked that I was an American who spoke Italian with Roman slang phrases, and he wanted me to be in one of his movies. Yeah, I was pretty excited about that! Until I woke up, obvs.
Well, since that’s not happening anytime soon, I’ll go back to my daydreaming and instead leave you with my latest real-life anecdote on the Italian concept of vacation. Now in convenient bite-size screenplay format!
“THE SAD STORY OF THE MISSING ITALIAN VACATION”
INT. FITNESS CLUB/GYM – MEMBERSHIP DESK – DAY
In a small residential neighborhood just outside downtown Rome, ALESSANDRO, a 40-something Italian man with dark hair, a dark mustache, and impossibly and perennially tanned skin, sits with a friendly smile behind the membership desk of his local sports club.
SHELLEY, mid-30s haggard single working mom, approaches the desk and begins small talk leading up to the renewal of her lapsed gym membership.
Ciao Alessandro, long time no see. Time to sign up again. Gotta hit the weights.
Michelle! So good to see you again! Remind me of how to spell your last name.
Rimini, Udine, Empoli, Livorno, Livorno, Empoli. I need to get back in. It’s quiet here. Everyone on vacation, I guess. I’ll be here. Not going anywhere this year.
Oh, tell me about it! We don’t take vacation here either. I mean, we’re only closing for just ten days in August!
Yep, I know. Some of us actually have to work.