Super Boob Market

15 Aug

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I dunno, folks. For years I just haven’t been able to figure out why the so-called marketing geniuses green-lighted this one.

Subliminal, you say? Mah. Not so much. Especially when you consider that here in Sardegna, where my tired ol’ bag o’ bones is wrapping up a one-week Rome hiatus, there are EVEN LARGER versions of this chain of grocery stores called–wait for it–Super Sisa.

Don’t tell me you haven’t figured out by now that sisa means “boob.” Well, in Rome at least, as far as I can tell. Although I’m told that “zizza” (very similar pronunciation and where this wordplay is coming from) is Italian, not just Roman dialect. I’m no expert but I learn these things on the street by asking people. And you know, after so many people I know would always crack sly little asides about the damn Sisa market, I had to ask. Especially astute readers will have already noted that both of these specimens coincidentally contain a doubling of consonants, not unlike their dirtier little sister, tit. Two consonants, two sise. BOOB spelled the same backwards and forwards, just like tit. Tweety Bird in Italian being called “titty” and printed on the chest of little girls’ bathing suits.

End of page. What do you want to do now?

If you want to experience the original version of this post, jump down here.
If you want to continue the adventure, follow the yellow brick road.

After I originally published this post, a commenter asked me if this was dialect, because it couldn’t be found in any translators online. So now I will take it upon myself to do some research. (These tasks always fall to me. That’s why my blog is a wise font of knowledge for all.) So here you go:

GOD BLESS THIS BLOG. I must get in touch to thank him personally. Life is good. This blog is awesome. I must find more time to explore it. Please see #1521 on Trattoria Romana.

Wait! Wait! Read the fine print! He says the list of over 1,500 words in Roman dialect was inspired by a tale written by a one “Sergio Frasca.” Let’s get in our Googleinator and see who he is.

OMG. Sergio Frasca is flippin PHYSICS prof. at La Sapienza whose main study concerns experimental research of gravitational waves. But lo and behold, there’s this PDF called Lessico Romanesco di Metà Novecento (Roman Lexicon of the Mid-1900s). No, seriously, help. This is killing me. I already have far too much on my reading plate and yet, how can I leave this gem behind? (Clicks “star” on the browser bar to come back to later.)

No! Help! Now I’m seriously drowning. It appears that he also “dabbles” in academic research in the areas of parapsychology and paranormal phenomena. How do you find a physicist who documents words in Roman dialect that also just so happens to research ghosts? ONLY IN ROME, PEOPLE. In fact here’s a list of links to all kinds of stuff he’s written. Oh love. The Internets are so fun.

Wow. That was one hell of a major detour. Back to boobs, however.

La Fontana delle Zizze: Boob Fountain

And, if that weren’t enough proof, this video was tagged by some clever Italian as “Il cuscino perfetto per le vostre zizze” which means the perfect pillow for your … well, zizze, no? (Audio in English! I dare you not to click.)

This is clearly a grand plot, at once vulgar and diabolical, one that is far bigger than you and me, make no mistake about it.

A plot which, never fear, I will properly foil. Right after one last swim.*

*Swim took place two days ago. This article was compiled on multiple planes of temporal reality. I am sure that Mr. Frasca would have something to tell us about that.

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5 Responses to “Super Boob Market”

  1. Gil August 15, 2013 at 2:47 am #

    Is ‘sisa’ dialect? I can’t find it in my Italian dictionary or online tanslaators.

  2. Un'americana a Roma August 15, 2013 at 7:02 am #

    Yes, sorry, it’s Romanesco. I need to add that into the post. My bad. 😉

  3. Andy Troiani August 15, 2013 at 8:45 am #

    Well done Shelley for this post (and thank you to upload and edit it, Gil have anticipated me, because I wanted to write you «Sisa is not an Italian word indeed, you’ve pushed hard the “a Roma” part of your name!»).

    I hope you will carry on the argument, maybe with pictures in support. 😀

  4. Thauna K (@ThaunaK) August 16, 2013 at 3:29 am #

    OMG!!! I never knew I needed a pillow for my boobs! Oh wait, mine aren’t big enough to require their own pillow. I’m cracking up here.

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