Oh Facebook, your algorithms are so funny sometimes.
A friend of mine posted a silly quote on FB today that I shared. You know how sometimes when you share things, it suggests similar pages to the one that the thing you shared came from? Well, I don’t usually pay much attention, but today I had to laugh. The quote came from a FB page called “999 Buoni Motivi Per Rimanere Single” which translates to 999 Good Reasons to Stay Single. I have no real idea why it’s called that, since despite the dead cupid with an arrow in his back as the cover image, a cursory glance at the page reveals a random hodgepodge of jokes, memes, and random nonsense. I really didn’t grasp how that was supposed to convince me that the single life was the way to go. But, the real genius came in when I got the suggested pages:
Oh sweet baby Jesus: here are not one, but two FANTASTIC reasons to stay single: Fabrizio Corona, and Teo Mammucari.
If you don’t know about Corona, here’s a primer. You’ll learn all about the Roman word “coatto” in the process. He’s the coatto poster child.
But: Teo Mammucari. Teo Mammucari is a comic, although frankly I don’t think he deserves that title because his entire schtick is basically built on objectifying and humiliating women and acting like he’s God’s gift. I literally despise him and all the other men on Italian TV who have built their reputation by showcasing T&A and then propogating the stereotype that women are stupid.
You don’t have to go far to find examples. The first video I clicked on after a quick Youtube search was this one. Within the first 10 seconds you get to see Mammucari hosting a TV program called “Libero” (inexplicably translates to “free” as in “free as a bird,” not “free/doesn’t cost anything”) with a plastic fruit-covered table under which—wait for it—a scantily-clad woman (some red lingerie thing?) in over-the-knee black stiletto boots with Barbie-doll hair is posing. No, seriously. Under the table. Like, for fuck’s sake–do they feed her? Does she get oxygen under there? Christ Almighty. But please, by all means, don’t miss :17 when Teo’s lovely assistant Clotilde walks on stage to hand him a piece of paper, and then as she is walking away he calls her back: “Vieni qua, Clotilde, bisogna parlare di questo…” Come here, Clotilde, we need to talk about this … and then:
[GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE WHILE MAMMUCARI TRIES TO GRAB ASS]
A perennial must-view for awareness of the female image in Italian media is the excellent piece below. If you don’t watch it all (although I highly suggest you do if you haven’t already, for the sake of awareness), just skip ahead to 11:20 when we’re back with Mammucari on Libero, as he talks to Eva Henger, (ex-porno diva, who’s sitting up in bed (?) with a black sheet wrapped around her chest), asking her about where she put her bra. [Right?] Even the girl under the plexiglass table claps when Henger agrees to his request to throw it in the air, and, oopsies! Them there’s is two boobies!
Who knew?! I’m SHOCKED—shocked, I tell you!
Frankly, Teo is a great metaphor in favor of forever remaining single as a woman in Italy, at least single from his breed of Italian man; how clever of Facebook to link him to that concept. But, you see, I’m in the minority. He’s become the host of one of Italy’s most popular shows, Le Iene, together with Ilary Blasi, wife of Francesco Totti (Roma soccer star forward).
Kind of looks like he’s enjoying himself.
Back in 2008, one of the “Veline” had his baby. Awwww! He used to host the summer show where girls would audition to become one of the two most famous “showgirls” in Italy, who dance on a show called Striscia La Notizia. All in the family, you see. In the report below, we hear that the show’s creator was ready to bow to pressure to take the girls off the show in order to stop objectifying women, but he said he’d only do it on the condition that the Miss Italia pageant, which he said “militarizes women” (WTF?) also be discontinued.
Yep, not gonna happen.
Oh well. I’m still just laughing that Mammucari comes up in a FB suggested pages to like as “similar to” one of many good reasons to remain single. I’m easily amused by subtle irony, you see. Here is another reason to remain single in Italy from Natalie, who is awesome, and has the English title counterpart of my blog’s name.
Oh, by the way, if you haven’t already read this one:
as well as another crowd-pleaser: Half-Naked Italian Women Are on TV