Weird Italian Grocery Items

10 Feb

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I find shopping in my local grocery store an unending source of odd discoveries. First, it was brains. And now, Hello Kitty salad (“limited edition”) for 1 euro? I think the acronym “WTF” was invented specifically for moments of conundrum such as these.

Or how about the flavored Philadelphia Cream Cheese? Tuna or ham, anyone?

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There was also salmon once upon a time. I think they just like adding any form of meat to the cream cheese. Perhaps horse meat is next. As my supermarket was offering fresh horse meat hamburger patties the other day. Come to think of it, I didn’t even take a picture. I suppose that means I’m going native, as it doesn’t seem to set off any alarm bells for me any longer. Remember when my mom freaked out about horse meat baby food? Ha! Yes, indeedy. I moved back to the States when Vince was like 6 months old and remember that US Customs was questioning me about the content of the baby food jars. Coniglio? What’s that? Oh, no worries. That’s just your garden variety Peter Rabbit all mushed up in a glass jar.

Oh, stop it! They say it makes babies grow healthy and strong. Right?

Free Wi-Fi Hotspots in Rome

9 Feb

Visitors to Rome often wonder where they can go to access free wi-fi. Rome isn’t necessarily set up like places that have a Starbucks culture of the “third place” concept, which can create difficulties for students who need to find places other than home or school to study and work, and for tourists who don’t have a place to access internet in their lodging.

One option that’s available requires an Italian cell phone number and an address, and it doesn’t even have to be a local Rome address. It’s the province of Rome’s free wifi network with over 300 access points throughout the city, and over 800 throughout the entire province of Rome!

Here’s a map to the wifi hotspots in this program.

It’s free and you can register online or at any of the points displaying the sign pictured at the top of this post. The registration form is in Italian. To register go to this page. Then after you fill out the form, you have five minutes in which to use the Italian cell phone number you registered with to call a local Rome number which verifies your cell phone number. After a couple rings and without having to talk to anyone, the system verifies your registration, and then all you have to do is use your cell phone number and password you chose when you registered, and you can access wifi at any of the points with your laptop, smart phone, tablet, etc.

If you are just visiting Rome for a short period and don’t have an Italian cell phone, I have a couple of personal recommendations of cafès in the center where you can sip your cappuccino and surf the web simultaneously: Chiostro del Bramante, Via Arco della Pace 5, and Circus, Via della Vetrina 5.

If anyone knows of any others that they’ve found in their travels through Rome, please share in the comments section!

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Why Cry Twice?

7 Feb

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It’s kind of tricky when you want to be ironic and sarcastic regarding ads for a funeral parlor. (Parlor. Isn’t it grand?)

But as long as Taffo keeps providing me with such splendid material, press on I will!

First we were regaled with the promise of “certified cremations.”

And now, they ask us, “Why cry twice?” when Tasso offers “complete funerals” starting at €99* per month.

Ah yes, my friends, the hallowed asterisk.

The fine print.

On a BILLBOARD.

It says: “on approved credit from Neos Finance Spa”

Oh, for the love. Complete funerals? Starting at €99 a month? People, I have enough to worry about with paying my gas and electric bills, let alone my… perish the thought!

Pun intended. Heh. Heh.

Um, Please, Just Don’t

25 Jan

This is kind of old; I took it during a bus ride back in November. But it still makes me want to have a good ha-ha chuckle (in lieu of having a not so ha-ha vomit in the toilet).

Anyone out there ever heard of this dude Berlusconi? Yeah, he effed things up for us over here quite royally.

So once they ousted him and the good ol’ government “fell” as it often does around these parts, what posters did he have his minions start putting up around our fair city?

These ones:

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He says, we assume by way of consoling the populace, that: “I’ll double my commitment.”

So, hmm. Let me ponder this sentiment for just one moment. Does that mean you’ll be taking a double dose of your Viagra and whatever other methods they’ve invented since the time of your birth back in NINETEEN THIRTY SIX to assist you in your bedroom antics? (Berlusconi Sex Scandal for Dummies here along with a very scary bonus picture of how he is basically a living version of a wax statue).

Um, yeah, no. Just don’t. Grazie, ma no grazie. Va bene? Basta. What a trip.

Romans and Vacation

8 Jan

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This pretty much sums it up. Loving the dot-dot-dot. Closed from the first of the year until?

Italian Christmas Treats

25 Dec

Merry Christmas everyone!

I just got off the phone with one of my dearest friends, a magical friendship that was born when Gina came to live in Rome back in 2007 and rented one of the apartments I used to rent to tourists. Through thick and thin in these past years, our friendship has stayed strong, and it got me to thinking that for a festive and sweet Christmas, I should share some of her amazing Italian dessert recipes with you. (She’s a pastry chef in NYC).

There are so many good articles already out there with lovely things by Miss Gina, I’ll list them here. Take your pick and head for the kitchen! Buon appetito e Buon Natale!

Beautiful Italian Christmas Cookies: Crostoli, Castagnaccio, Anginetti

Mosaic Biscotti

Bittersweet Chocolate Cookies

Hazelnut Cake

Panforte

Toasted Almond Cake

Cocoa Snowflakes

Yogurt Cheesecake with Pinenut Brittle

Ricotta Cheesecake

Merry Christmas from Rome

24 Dec

Just in case you were worried, I want to reassure you that the Christmas spirit, Roman style, is alive and well around these parts.

How do I know this? Let me count the ways.

This morning, as I (stupidly) was entering my neighborhood supermarket, I passed by a 40-something woman getting into her car, screaming the following festive words of greeting at the top of her lungs:

“And let me tell you something, I’d beat you up right now if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s Christmas!!! And also because I respect that you’re an old lady!”

Awwwwww. Doesn’t it just warm your heart? Me too.

But wait! There’s more!

As I was waiting in the (unending ridiculously long God help us all) line to pay for my meager purchases, I observed the following holly jolly scene:

Man hands teenage cashier a 20 euro bill to pay for his groceries. The total is €4.92.

Cashier, who BTW has a santa hat stuffed into her jeans pocket (scrooge!) with air of extreme displeasure: [distinct irritated sighing noise] “Don’t you have a 5?”

***here I must interject, once and for all, that I continue to not understand the above-mentioned problem with changing money here in Rome (kindly refer to number 5). Why, oh why, must we pay for our things coming as close as humanly possible to the exact display on the register? What is this strange phenomenon, I ask you!? Are there not banks in Rome? Is this a frickin’ TV game show? Whoever has exact change wins the prize? AAARRRGH. ***

Man and wife begin to search pockets and wallets for coins. Man looks in wallet and begins counting. 1, 2… wife opens wallet, finds 50 cents.

People. It does not take a rocket scientist to deduce that this is not efficiency’s finest moment of glory.

However, it does not stop our cashier from continuing to insist. As we all wait in anxious anticipation for the aforementioned 4 euros and 92 cents to magically manifest.

Man finds total of 5 euros in coins. Presents to cashier with a pithy “I hope you’re happy now.”

When it came my turn, she turns to her friend cashier next to her and says: “Can you believe that guy? ‘I hope you’re happy.’ What nerve! He should talk! Trying to pay for a 4,92 purchase with a 20 euro bill! I mean come on!”

Apparently this is not the Christmas spirit, to pay like this. I pay with my ATM card, hand trembling, but do not receive any reprimands. Yay.

Oh, by the way? I bought a gift today in a shop that cost €8. “Can I pay with my credit card?” say I. This is what we like to call a RHETORICAL QUESTION. Or at least that is what I considered it to be, until I got the response: “For 8 euro? Um, no. No. Not for 8 euro. Sorry.”

Fa la la la la, la la la LAAAAAAA!!!!!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a pocketful of exact change!

PS A dear reader with an astute eye, who I shall refer to simply as “Big Cat” (you have a code name now! so cool!) took some photographic evidence for me last night which demonstrates that “Yankee Candles” are now available for gift-giving to one and all here in Rome. BTW, I am so loving the tagline on their website: “America’s best loved candle.[tm]” (Yes, this is a trademarked phrase. So don’t try to steal it.) Now. I understand the problems inherent in claiming to be America’s best candle; clearly this would be quite difficult to prove. But, America’s best LOVED candle? Is this substantiated? I personally do not love paying $25 a jar for scents like “Nature’s Paintbrush” or “Raindrops on Roses,” however delightful they may be. But this is because I am a cynical, cold and heartless woman. You, however, may not be like me and therefore you can be comforted by the knowledge that a vacation to Rome can also include these scents:

Grazie gattone ;-)

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