Similar to 999 Good Reasons to Stay Single

3 Apr

Oh Facebook, your algorithms are so funny sometimes.

A friend of mine posted a silly quote on FB today that I shared. You know how sometimes when you share things, it suggests similar pages to the one that the thing you shared came from? Well, I don’t usually pay much attention, but today I had to laugh. The quote came from a FB page called “999 Buoni Motivi Per Rimanere Single” which translates to 999 Good Reasons to Stay Single. I have no real idea why it’s called that, since despite the dead cupid with an arrow in his back as the cover image, a cursory glance at the page reveals a random hodgepodge of jokes, memes, and random nonsense. I really didn’t grasp how that was supposed to convince me that the single life was the way to go. But, the real genius came in when I got the suggested pages:

Image

Oh sweet baby Jesus: here are not one, but two FANTASTIC reasons to stay single: Fabrizio Corona, and Teo Mammucari.

If you don’t know about Corona, here’s a primer. You’ll learn all about the Roman word “coatto” in the process. He’s the coatto poster child.

But: Teo Mammucari. Teo Mammucari is a comic, although frankly I don’t think he deserves that title because his entire schtick is basically built on objectifying and humiliating women and acting like he’s God’s gift. I literally despise him and all the other men on Italian TV who have built their reputation by showcasing T&A and then propogating the stereotype that women are stupid.

You don’t have to go far to find examples. The first video I clicked on after a quick Youtube search was this one. Within the first 10 seconds you get to see Mammucari hosting a TV program called “Libero” (inexplicably translates to “free” as in “free as a bird,” not “free/doesn’t cost anything”) with a plastic fruit-covered table under which—wait for it—a scantily-clad woman (some red lingerie thing?) in over-the-knee black stiletto boots with Barbie-doll hair is posing. No, seriously. Under the table. Like, for fuck’s sake–do they feed her? Does she get oxygen under there? Christ Almighty. But please, by all means, don’t miss :17 when Teo’s lovely assistant Clotilde walks on stage to hand him a piece of paper, and then as she is walking away he calls her back: “Vieni qua, Clotilde, bisogna parlare di questo…” Come here, Clotilde, we need to talk about this … and then:

[GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE WHILE MAMMUCARI TRIES TO GRAB ASS]

A perennial must-view for awareness of the female image in Italian media is the excellent piece below. If you don’t watch it all (although I highly suggest you do if you haven’t already, for the sake of awareness), just skip ahead to 11:20 when we’re back with Mammucari on Libero, as he talks to Eva Henger, (ex-porno diva, who’s sitting up in bed (?) with a black sheet wrapped around her chest), asking her about where she put her bra. [Right?] Even the girl under the plexiglass table claps when Henger agrees to his request to throw it in the air, and, oopsies! Them there’s is two boobies!

Who knew?! I’m SHOCKED—shocked, I tell you!

Frankly, Teo is a great metaphor in favor of forever remaining single as a woman in Italy, at least single from his breed of Italian man; how clever of Facebook to link him to that concept. But, you see, I’m in the minority. He’s become the host of one of Italy’s most popular shows, Le Iene, together with Ilary Blasi, wife of Francesco Totti (Roma soccer star forward).

Kind of looks like he’s enjoying himself.

ilary-blasi-e-teo-mammucari-a-le-iene

Back in 2008, one of the “Veline” had his baby. Awwww! He used to host the summer show where girls would audition to become one of the two most famous “showgirls” in Italy, who dance on a show called Striscia La Notizia. All in the family, you see. In the report below, we hear that the show’s creator was ready to bow to pressure to take the girls off the show in order to stop objectifying women, but he said he’d only do it on the condition that the Miss Italia pageant, which he said “militarizes women” (WTF?) also be discontinued.

Yep, not gonna happen.

Oh well. I’m still just laughing that Mammucari comes up in a FB suggested pages to like as “similar to” one of many good reasons to remain single. I’m easily amused by subtle irony, you see. Here is another reason to remain single in Italy from Natalie, who is awesome, and has the English title counterpart of my blog’s name.

Oh, by the way, if you haven’t already read this one:

Women’s Bodies and Images in Italian Media

as well as another crowd-pleaser: Half-Naked Italian Women Are on TV

4 Responses to “Similar to 999 Good Reasons to Stay Single”

  1. Natalie April 5, 2014 at 7:48 am #

    Oh sweet baby Jesus. You are so brave to watch Italian television! Cannot handle it, for all of the reasons above and more!

    However, I do still love lingere displays and should probably make a habit of taking more photos of the offerings ;)

    • Shelley Ruelle April 9, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

      Oh honey, I don’t watch Italian TV. I watch cartoons with my kids (Peppa Pig and Doraemon is about the extent of it, so neither of those Italian either) and that’s about it. Although, the other day I was somewhere and they had “Uomini e Donne” on the TV, I think it was a pizza al taglio, and I still can’t get over how that Maria De Filippi made such a name for herself. What is up? Anyways, yes, Italian TV is a never-ending source of both amusement and despair. More lingerie, yes, please! Lots of amusement and despair there as well. ;-)

  2. Andy April 5, 2014 at 11:08 am #

    Great post, I agree with every pixel of every letter of every word.

    Mammuccari is not only the kind of man from cave who thinks ladies must stay in the kitchen (or under the table), he’s the kind of very annoying person when he talks to someone. He think he’s better then anyone, and the other ones must be grateful to stay in front of him. Irritating.
    I’ve always wondering how a guy like him can do a tv program and… well, he does.
    I told you what I think about the berlusconi’s televisions, right? How they changed the morals of Italy? Well, Mammuccari is a piece of the puzzle, the “veline” men’s link.

    Before I came on this world the television was a teacher. There was a tv program calls “Non è mai troppo tardi” (It’s never too late), a teacher from elementary school showed to the ignorant people how write words and sentences. Well, now television (in Italy) is the bad guy at the end of the classroom. A different teacher. Someone who tell you what you need to be a professional whore or the man who wait the coffee from the waitress-wife.

    I hate this. I hate all of this. World moves on, this country not.
    Italy -with India- is the only industrialized state where women haven’t work like men, they are not payed like guys and where women are considered in different way from men.
    Totally unfair. Ok, I walk outside the sown…

    Corona… Well… he’s a “coatto”, sure. Someone who thinking everything is for him, and he can does everything he wants. Now he’s (FINALLY) in prison and -guess what?- he told he did something wrong. Are you kidding me? You did everything wrong! You’re like a “godfather” without mafia behind you!

    BUT (and now I could being unpleasant for some of you)… Italian women want a man like Corona.
    They always wrote «I want someone who make me happy!», but they forgot to mention «and he must have a body like a wardrobe, a beautiful face like Apollo and he must behave as an alpha male in front of me». Italian women love them.
    Sometimes (more than sometimes) they love a Mammuccari guy too. Someone who transforms them in “object”. God help us…
    And (Italian) men want girls with a lot of make-up on the face, 6 inches heels and miniskirt. They love “lies”. “Appear” and not “be”.

    Bah… Well, I find my personal way to stay single (and alone)……

    • Shelley Ruelle April 9, 2014 at 3:08 pm #

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Andy! I know that many people, both men and women, don’t agree with the way that women are portrayed in the media, and don’t agree with the stereotypical Italian male chauvinist, and that is reassuring. It’s a shame that these stereotypes continue to dominate, however.

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